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 Post subject: Re: LAUGHTER
PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 10:56 am 
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From James Gilliland
http://www.eceti.org/Eceti.IndexII.html


Government Plans For Alien Invasion, this is hilarious. First I would recomend a diet, better be able to move fast Professor from those nasty make believe aliens that are coming to have you for dinner.. Second how about making friends with the benevolent ones? Third why are the benevolent ones not mentioned? Arent these guys the most brilliant minds on the planet? Do they even have a clue as to what is happening in the galaxy, the universe, the multiverse? These are the guys we are depending on to greet the aliens? OMG we are in trouble.

http://video.au.msn.com/watch/video/ali ... on/xxf5gut?


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 Post subject: Re: LAUGHTER
PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 2:42 pm 
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Location: High Plains of the Front Range of the Rocky Mts in Colorado USA
Three Abbotsford men thought it was a good idea to go through a car wash in a shopping cart while drunk instead of in a car.
http://www.vancouversun.com/touch/news/story.html?id=6410075

METRO VANCOUVER - Chalk up this cleansing experience - for a trio of young men in Abbotsford - to booze and bubbles.

And perhaps too much TV, a la Jackass, an American reality series that features dangerous, crude and ludicrous stunts and pranks.

After the three intoxicated twenty year olds went to a car wash with a shopping buggy about midnight last night, Abbotsford police posted a tweet warning that pressure washing yourself will not increase "intelligence or sobriety."

The trio had stripped down - loaded themselves into the cart - and selected either "typhoon" or "super typhoon" and tried to wash themselves and the buggy.

The Abbotsford police were alerted when neighbours heard screaming.

"We arrived to find intoxicated men putting their clothes back on, and realizing that the best decisions aren't made while drunk and at a car wash without a car in the middle of the night," observed Abbotsford police Const. Ian MacDonald.

The trio were warned and sent home.
© Copyright (c) Vancouver Sun

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"...to know this information and then remain passive—a pure observer—is a programmed response, and that is not an answer to how do I best serve truth? It is a denial of truth.” 5th Interview


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 Post subject: Re: LAUGHTER
PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 7:45 pm 
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Location: East Coast of Australia
:) yes they would have been in for a surprise when the "underbody" water jets began blasting up from beneath them :shock: ouch :)

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"Intuitive intelligence is the potency of the quantum heart trickling into the three dimensional world. It is the key to the knowledge that matters."


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 Post subject: Re: LAUGHTER
PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2012 5:26 pm 
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Subject: Returned tax return

Yesterday I got my Tax Return "Returned"

I was trying to get a jump on doing my taxes this year, however, the IRS sent my Tax Return back!!
I guess it was because of my response to the line, which said: "List All Dependents"
So, I replied:
12 million illegal immigrants
3 million crack heads
42 million unemployable people on food stamps
2 million people in over 243 prisons
and 535 fools in the U.S. House and Senate.
Apparently, this was NOT acceptable..

So I sent it back with a question "Did I forget someone?"


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 Post subject: Re: LAUGHTER
PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2012 6:50 pm 
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some people just can't handle the truth :lol:

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"...to know this information and then remain passive—a pure observer—is a programmed response, and that is not an answer to how do I best serve truth? It is a denial of truth.” 5th Interview


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 Post subject: Re: LAUGHTER
PostPosted: Mon Jun 10, 2013 12:58 am 
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These are from a book called Disorder in the Courtroom, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published from court reporter transcriptions, who that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place, and accurately recording the dialogs...
______________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, "isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney.
Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about 20, medium height, and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?
What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And, Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And the best for last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No .
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
_________________________________________________________________

And that my friends is a good example why, most politicians in our government and courts are lawyers and our nation is so screwed up.

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The SI IS.

"Oneness, Truthfulness and Equality"


Cathedral - CS&N
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MaSU0ABrnY


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 Post subject: Re: LAUGHTER
PostPosted: Mon Jun 10, 2013 1:28 am 
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| The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets
|
| Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with
us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it
is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.'
|
| And God said, 'I will create a companion for you that will be with you
and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me
even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or
unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will
love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.'
|
| And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.
| And it was a good animal..
| And God was pleased.
|
| And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged
his tail
|
| And Adam said, 'Lord, I have already named all the animals in the
Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.'
|
| And God said, 'I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my
love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will
call him DOG.'
|
|
| And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved
them.
|
| And they were comforted
|
| And God was pleased.
|
| And Dog was content and wagged his tail..
|
|
|
| After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and
said, 'Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen
like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed
taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.'
|
|
| And God said, 'I will create for them a companion who will be with them
and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of
their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of
adoration.'
|
| And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.
|
|
| And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's
eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.
|
|
| And Adam and Eve learned humility.
|
| And they were greatly improved.
|
|
|
| And God was pleased . . .
|
| And Dog was happy. . .

| And Cat didn't give a [Censored] one way or the other...

_________________
The SI IS.

"Oneness, Truthfulness and Equality"


Cathedral - CS&N
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MaSU0ABrnY


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 Post subject: Re: LAUGHTER
PostPosted: Mon Jun 10, 2013 2:22 am 
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Animal miracles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMj2K2-K8wo

_________________
The SI IS.

"Oneness, Truthfulness and Equality"


Cathedral - CS&N
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MaSU0ABrnY


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 Post subject: Re: LAUGHTER
PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2013 3:38 pm 
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Image

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"Oneness, Truthfulness and Equality"


Cathedral - CS&N
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MaSU0ABrnY


Last edited by Shayalana on Mon Nov 03, 2014 7:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: LAUGHTER
PostPosted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 4:05 pm 
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"Oneness, Truthfulness and Equality"


Cathedral - CS&N
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MaSU0ABrnY


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 Post subject: Re: LAUGHTER
PostPosted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 4:27 pm 
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The SI IS.

"Oneness, Truthfulness and Equality"


Cathedral - CS&N
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MaSU0ABrnY


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 Post subject: Re: LAUGHTER
PostPosted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 2:35 pm 
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"Oneness, Truthfulness and Equality"


Cathedral - CS&N
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MaSU0ABrnY


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